Life With A Somebody Else's Cancer

My mother was first diagnosed in 2008. Since then, she has developed multiple tumors in her lungs, brain, and spine. Sometimes, I suspect I'm not being told all the gory details. But then again, I ask myself, how much do I really want to know those gory details?

However, the point is this: you get so used to "Emergency phone calls." You get so used to dire outlooks and grim prognoses, that part of you begins to wonder. It's like the "cry wolf syndrome." You begin to think that it will get better -- because, after all, it always does. Only, quality life suffers. I can tell you, without a doubt, my mother is not the same vibrant woman she was in 2005.

Then, the rug gets pulled out.

My mother is currently in the hospital with bleeding in within her brain.

If you subscribe to a religion, pray for her.

If you are agnostic or an atheist, keep her in your thoughts.

EDIT TO ADD: It's a hemorrhaging tumor, and a relatively new one. She's stabilized, but still in ICU. Nobody knows the long term outlook yet.

City of Catepillar

Amazing what you have in your iTunes for a LONG time and not know it. Love the discordant "Post-[insert genre name]" instrumentation.

How To Buy Leisure Books While Respecting The Dorchester Boycott

Forgive the content mill-ish title. Anyhow. Major mass market paperback house Leisure Books/Dorchester Publications has been in a death spiral for some time now, owing money to both their authors and a number of creditors. Recently, they have engaged in a number of shenanigans, like selling ebooks they no longer hold the publishing rights to.

This goes beyond horror, including also mystery and romance mmpb writers. A lot of writers haven't seen a royalty check in eons, and Dorchester as a whole has been dragging their feet on legally returning all publishing rights back to their rightful owners. In short, Leisure Books / Dorchester publishing has become as reliable as a some of the more fly-by-night print on demand small presses (like the one operated by notorious psychotic crank from just outside ofChicago, who lives in his grandmother's basement, cannot string a coherent sentence together and has a record of stalking mid-list and successful horror novelists). Yes, Leisure Dorchester has gotten THAT bad -- possibly even much more toxic, since a fall from grace is involved. For further information on why Dorchester/Leisure needs to be actively boycotted, further information can be found on Brian Keene's blog, as well as the Boycott Dorchester FaceBook page.

However, there is one major loophole to the boycott that needs pointing out. There is a way to buy Leisure Books' novels and collections while keeping your hard earned money out of their hands. First, lets go through a few caveats, first. If you really, really, really have to buy that Tim Lebbon paperback, do yourself and the author a favor. Go to their blog and website and see what is in print, what is out of print, and what is slated for reissue. Brian Keene, for example, recently signed a contract with Deadite to bring most of his back catalog back as trade paperbacks and ebooks. So, most of his books can be bought with him earning a royalty off of the purchase (if not now, then eventually).

Some Dorchester authors, however, have not been as fortunate as Keene, in terms of obtaining a rights reversion. So, there may not be any reissues in the near or immediate future, both on paper and in e-ink. Plus, there may be older titles, say from Dennis Etchinson or Rick Hautala, that have been actively out print. These books can still be bought, if you must absolutely have them.

Go visit your local used bookstore. The used book business is fundamentally different than the local Barnes and Noble. These businesses buy books off of readers for very little, mark the price up slightly, and then pocket all the profit. True, there are no royalties that go to the author, but none of the revenue goes to publisher either. On the surface, that may sound exploitative, but it actually isn't. Used bookstores are usually not thriving business at the moment, and you will not see their owners driving Bentleys anytime soon. Besides, used bookstores offer an extremely valuable cultural service.

First, it saves books from being pulped or crammed into a landfill, offering a novel a second, third, fourth or fifth reading life. For this reason, used bookstores are cultural repositories. For example, in a particularly good used book store, a shopper can leave with Sarah Pinborough titles, the collected poems of Anne Sexton and a number of titles of the decline and fall of Rome -- while spending under $20 total. Traditional bookstore frequently purge and pulp their lingering inventory to make space whatever bullshit New York City marketing geniuses think will sell!, sell!, sell! (Usually with abysmal results, too). Typically, used book stores also sell items that are long out of print -- want to find Robert Bloch novels?--here's where you go.

Besides, used book stores are a dying breed, unfortunately. Ever since the economy entered a vortex of shit in 2008, a good number of them have been going out of business. If you factor in online shopping and the rise of ebook, it's made it a lot harder many to stay afloat. I'm only going by observation in my part of New Jersey on this, as I've noticed the numbers here dwindling every few years.

So, if you absolutely must have a Dorchester/Leisure paperback, buy them at used bookstores. After all, the authors won't be getting the money either way. (Which is why you need to buy their reissues, if they have them). However, your local used bookstore also needs both your support and your patronage. This is just another reason to shop at one.

Mahmoud Darwish -- Who Am I Without Exile?

So, what is read even less than contemporary Asian poetry in traslation? Contemporary Arabic poetry in translation. With that in mind, the late, great Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish...

Yang Lian & Miyazawa Kenji

every tree beats against you

like a poem's wounded tributary

~ Yang Lian

The phenomenon called "I"

is a blue illumination

~ Miyazawa Kenji

Both of these poets remind me of something sad and slightly depressing, when it comes to poetry. America is a country where the cultural value of poetry, collectively speaking, is very low. Foreign poetry in translation is valued even lower. If we follow the race to the bottom of the ignored arts, then Asian poetry in translation is even lower than that of contemporary Europeans.

This might sound erroneous to some. After all, a reader can visit Barnes and Noble and see a variety of haiku anthologies in translation. If a reader is lucky, they can find a New Directions volume of Li Po or Tu Fu. Plus, an apt student of prosody would point out how classical Asian verse fueled the great American modernists like Pound and Williams. Still, there is relatively little or no attention paid to Chinese or Japanese language poetry from Twentieth Century going forward.

Both Kenji and Lian are great reminders that Modernism/Post-Modernism were not just American and European phenomenons.

Getting To Know Torchwood

I've watched about four episodes of Torchwood's first season. The verdict: MEH +, which means... not impressed, but I plan to keep watching and give it more time. Essentially, some shows -- especially sci-fi -- are rarely great in their first season. There's still a project of sorting out characters and creating a greater mythology to tap into. The above referenced cyberwoman episode seemed to me as a desperate attempt to cross Dr. Who with Star Trek TNG's The Borg. Seemed a little stale in execution.

The Most Horrific Poem Ever Written

Paul Celan's "Todesfuge" as read by Galway Kinnell. Not my favored translation, but I would never tell Kinnell that ...